


Apartment Hunting

by Geri_Lea



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2013-11-09
Packaged: 2017-12-31 22:33:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geri_Lea/pseuds/Geri_Lea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sergio Perez has died and his apartment has become hot property</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apartment Hunting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alt_reaYoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alt_reaYoon/gifts).



Nico had just put his feet up, settling down for a night in front of the television with a pizza he probably shouldn’t be eating when there’s furious knocking on his front door. Maybe if he ignored it, they would go away…  
  
“Nico! Open up!” It was Esteban, his neighbour who sounded frightened. If he had to kill another spider for him…  
  
“What?” he snaps when he throws open the door.  
  
He normally had far more patience for the younger man but he’d had a bad day, his lease was expiring on his apartment and getting a hold of a new lease in one of the city’s most sort after locations was proving to be far more difficult than he had envisioned. Apparently having stellar reviews of his past occupancy in the building wasn’t helping him much. Today he was told he’d been refused one of the higher level rooms simply because he couldn’t stretch out fully in the bathtub, apparently that was more important than how clean you were and if you made your payments on time.  
  
“Someone has killed Sergio! He is dead!” Esteban wasn't just frightened, he looked downright upset, tears filling his beautiful brown eyes.  
  
Nico straightened up at that as he reached out to pat Esteban on the head distractedly. Perez was dead? “When did he die?”  
  
“I only just found out…”  
  
“Let’s go check it out,” Nico has to practically drag Esteban to elevators.  
  
“Why? I don’t want to see a dead body!”  
  
“I’ve told you before Esteban,” Nico says tapping his foot as he waits for the lift, “You need to face your fears. If you have a fear of dead bodies….” He taps his pocket to ensure he still had his rental application in his pocket. Maybe if he left somewhere discreet in the apartment…  
  
“I’m not afraid of dead bodies!” Esteban was gripping his arm tightly, “I am afraid of what caused the dead body. There’s a murderer,” he whispers loudly. “In _our_ building.”  
  
When they reach the McLaren level it was littered with nosey onlookers already and Nico huffs at them to move. Didn’t people have something better to with their time, _someone had died_ for crying out loud. Stepping into the open doorway Nico moves into the apartment already loving how much brighter it was than his own apartment. Though he shouldn’t complain, it wasn’t a basement level floor.  
  
Nico’s eyes narrow when he spies Felipe casually placing a thick folder on a side table, he didn’t doubt for one moment that it was his own tenancy application. Some people were only thinking about one thing. He sees Mark, the departing Red Bull floor tenant leaning against the fireplace, casually drinking a beer and looking amused. Walking further into the room, Nico finds the source Mark’s amusement, Jenson was on his hands and knees with a magnifying glass.  
  
“What is he doing?”  
  
“Britney gifted him a detective set for his birthday last year, and he’s intent on using it find out who killed Sergio.”  
  
“Don’t touch anything Nico!” Jenson calls to him. “I haven’t dusted for prints yet!”  
  
“Uh okay,” Nico mutters, shaking his head. If he was going to make a pro and con list of living on the McLaren level, the only con currently seemed to be having Jenson as a neighbour.  
  
“Is there a body somewhere?” Esteban whispered to Mark furiously.  
  
“Nah, Jenson’s taped an outline, but no body,” Mark smiles at him.  
  
Jenson stands up suddenly, an accusing glare settling on the young Mexican. “Esteban, where you earlier today?”  
  
Nico wrenches his arm free from Esteban’s grip when nails dig in. “I was at home! I didn’t kill anyone!”  
  
Jenson is on his feet, eyeing him up and down as he walks a slow circle around Esteban. “The evidence I have just found would put you in this apartment!”  
“I’ve never even been in Sergio’s apartment before!” Esteban defends panicked.  
  
“Well what is this? It looks to be one lone dark brown hair!” Jenson holds up the one hair in front Esteban’s nose sending the younger one crossed eyed. “How do you explain that?”  
  
“You do realise mate, that Sergio has brown hair? And so do I. So you going to wave hair from under the sofa in my face too?” Mark asks casually.  
  
“No, because I know where you were this morning,” Jenson responds coolly not removing his gaze from Esteban. “Visiting a certain Spaniard if I believe the noise complaints.” He turns and shoots a dirty grin at Mark.  
  
“All the noise and I cannot sleep!” Massa complains from the other side of the room where he was taking measurements. “What? Rob has a game simulator! I need to find a place to put it!” he snaps at Nico who had raised his eyebrows at him. “And we’re talking about Mark, Mark and his noisy noise.”  
  
Mark chokes before going into a coughing fit. “Don’t know what you’re talking about. Carry on with your interrogation then,” he waves at Jenson to continue much to the dismay of Esteban.  
  
Nico decides he has had enough of watching Jenson play detective and sets about checking out his potential new digs. The kitchen was massive, but there’s a running theme in the apartment, all greys and whites, clean lines and minimal furniture. The kitchen was stainless steel, grey slate floor with white splashbacks. The place was in desperate need of some colour…  
  
The only colour seemed to be from appliances, a bright orange-redish colour... appliances that were being boxed up by Lewis. Lewis freezes at Nico’s presence. “It’s not that the appliances are bad in the Mercedes apartment,” he explains, “It’s just that I miss my old ones and Jenson refuses to give me his. And well if Sergio has died… frick man! Don’t judge me!”  
  
Nico raises his hands. “No judgement here - Oh there’s a dishwasher! I won’t have to have Esteban over for dinner anymore.”  
  
“It’s such a shame about Sergio,” Lewis makes idle conversation as he tackles packing up toaster. “We’re all going to miss him so….  
  
“Tea? I didn’t take Perez to be a tea drinker…” Nico asks holding up a one of those tea tasting packs.  
  
“Oh sweet!” Lewis goes over to grab it off Nico but then stops. “They’re mine. I left it here.” He takes it before securely into the box on the bench.  
  
Shaking his head Nico leaves the kitchen to find his way to the bedroom. Far too many tenants were letting themselves into the recently deceased apartment of Perez. Paul was laying splayed out across the large king size bed. The sight of his ex-neighbour having him back out of the room slowly hoping he won’t be spotted, he didn’t need to jump on the bed to test its springs that badly…  
  
“It’s a water bed,” Paul calls out to him and Nico freezes as Paul props himself up on his elbows and gives him a forced smile. “It’s like being on a boat.  A bit anyway.”  
  
Nico edges back into the room, tempted to try it out. “I’ve never had a waterbed…”  
  
Paul snorts, “Yes Nico, you’re the only one so hard done by in the apartment stakes.”  
  
“I thought we weren’t talking to each other?” Nico snaps as he stalks determinedly to the bed, he was going to try it out and he was going to take the apartment from Paul if he had to.  
  
“We’re not,” Paul sighs closing his eyes.  
  
The bed jiggles under both their weight before they both sort of just bob on top. “It’s weird.”  
  
“Yeah well you’re the one that left me, didn’t even tell me you were moving,” Paul mutters.  
  
“I meant the bed,” Nico’s replies hangs awkwardly between them. Nico knows that Paul rolled over, it had him roll towards the middle. He finds himself facing the Scot, eyes holding an expression of accusation and hurt. “Fuck.” Nico tries to scramble from the bed, “I hate this. The bed.”  
  
“Yeah,” Paul moves to once more lie down on his back and sighs as he stares at the ceiling. “It’s the bed you hate.”  
  
“It was never about you Paul,” Nico wants to go over and throttle him, why was it so hard for Paul to see that? He had given up on trying to explain things to him, Paul refused to talk to him, seemed to have all his energy in shutting him out, all because he moved apartments. He wasn’t even sure why that was a big deal, Mark and Fernando seem to be fine an apartment apart, and hell Mark was leaving the building – if you ignore the rumours he _wasn’t_ moving in with Fernando.  
  
Annoyed he spins on his heel and heads back to the main living room, Felipe had left, he didn’t doubt it was to find Rob and show him the apartment. Lewis was walking out the door with two boxes now, calling a hastily goodbye, meanwhile Jenson was squeezing baby powder onto the coffee table and around Mark’s feet who seemed to have settled in and was watching TV.  
  
“Where’s Esteban?” Nico asks realising that his young neighbour was missing. “Please tell him you haven’t handcuffed him up somewhere? He really wasn’t like being alone, or in the dark, or loud noises…”  
  
“I told him to go home when Jenson got out the handcuffs,” Mark grins at him.  
  
“Why are you still here?” Nico asks as Mark lifts his feet so Jenson can dust under them.  
  
“Someone has to watch him. He used Britney’s pink hairspray to outline a body in the bathroom. If that had gotten on the carpet there might be another vacant apartment in the building if Martin or Ron found out.”  
  
“I value my life,” Jenson huffs. “I didn’t paint the carpet and everything can be cleaned up.”  
  
“He died in the bathroom?” Nico asks. He had wanted to check out the spa bath. “Is there blood?”  
  
“Electrocuted,” Jenson says. “No blood. I think someone threw a hair straighter in the bath with him.” Jenson stops suddenly, going stiff. “Oh my god. _Hair straightener_.”  
  
Nico only knew of one resident in the building that used a hair straightener, along with a lot of other hair products. “Nico isn’t a killer,” he states matter of fact. “No way. I’d be suggesting Maldonado, that man has a look about him. I don’t trust him. And then it would be Adrian… everyone knows what happened at that party at the Lotus apartments…”  
  
“Neither of them use hair straighteners,” Jenson was shaking his head, looking devastated. He sighs before getting to his feet. “Oh well.” He pulls out a pair of fluffy handcuffs from the back of pants. “I’ll have to go and arrest him I suppose. Integrate him _thoroughly_ …” He was grinning now, eyes twinkling.  
  
“And that’s my cue to go,” Mark was turning off the TV pushing his friend towards the door. “Jenson can go interrogate Britney and I’ll make my dinner date on time.”  
  
“Date?” Nico echoes. Why Mark and Fernando had to keep insisting they were just friends was beyond him. As far as he was aware there were no rules to say residents on different floors couldn’t date?  
  
“Date with a mate,” Mark corrects himself hurriedly. “Bye.”  
  
Jenson rolls his eyes and follows him out, swinging his handcuffs as he goes. Nico shakes his head, maybe he should move _out_ of the building.  
  
“Did everyone leave?” Paul had obviously had enough of floating on the bed and feeling sorry for himself. “I might go and have a chat with Martin…”

Paul always one to suck up. “You know Perez died today.”  
  
“Yes and you are here out of concern and are mourning the death of a _close_ friend,” Paul says sarcastically. “You are such a hypocrite.”  
  
Nico reaches out and grabs at Paul’s arm when he walks past. Paul stops and stares at him before looking down at his grasped wright. Nico though finds himself short of words. “I have pizza,” he finally manages to get out.  
  
“You know I’m lactose intolerant,” Paul mutters pulling his hand free.  
  
“Right,” Nico sighs. He follows Paul out, but both stop when the door opens, and there stood Sebastian and a determined looking Finn. Kimi barges past, sniffing as he does.  
  
“What…”  
  
Sebastian rolls his eyes. “He looking for Perez’s alcohol stash. I don’t think he drinks but Heikki _insisted_ I help Kimi.”  
  
“The problem here Seb is, you need to make friends with non-Finns.” Nico grins at him, slapping him on the shoulder as he hears Kimi let out a whoop. It might be the only sound Nico has heard Kimi ever say.  
  
Heading to the elevator, Nico is aware that Paul is behind him, seemingly far too close. When he reaches to press the down button it’s at the same moment that  
Paul does, their hands brushing in the process. “Paul,” Nico tries again, maybe because it’s Paul he’d always keep trying, “I miss you.”  
  
The last time he’d uttered those words, Paul had shouted at him, had told him if he loved him he wouldn’t have left him. That had hurt, still hurt and he doesn’t want to hear that again. Looking over at him, Nico gives him a hopeful smile as their hands drop down. Maybe he should stop wanting something he can’t have.  
  
“Nico, I…”  
  
The elevator dings open before Paul can finish his sentence and both of them step apart when the doors slide apart.  
  
“Sergio?”  
  
“Perez?”  
  
They both say in unison, faces hysterically wearing the same expression of surprise.  
  
Sergio grunts at both of them, struggling to hold all the bags in his hands. “Have you seen Jenson? He asked me to go shopping for him… I’ve never bought so much hair product in my life. No wonder Nico keeps his own apartment, it’s just to store his wardrobe and hair care.”  
  
“Uh… Sergio?” Paul calls after him quietly as the stumbles towards his door.  
  
“Don’t,” Nico warns stepping into the lift and pulling Paul after him. “Just don’t say anything.” He hurriedly stabs the button to his floor just as Sergio’s voice drifts from his apartment.  
  
“Why are you packing up my tequila!?”  
  
The moment the doors are safely closed, Paul erupts into giggles and Nico grins. “Wonder what he’ll say about not having a toaster…”  
  
Paul grins at him before the smile slowly slips from his face and things fall awkwardly silent. “The offer for pizza still open?”  
  
“Yeah,” Nico’s smile is one of relief. “Always.”  
  
“Cool,” Paul answers before following Nico out when the doors reach the Sauber level. Yeah he missed Nico too.

  
*             *             *


End file.
